Duke Trip Day 3 & 4
We have a plan now! Yay! I love plans. Unfortunately, this plan will keep us away from home for a few weeks, up to possibly a month, in total. Regardless, it’s a good plan by a great hospital and we’re hopeful about it.
What Mike Needs
Due to the spinal metastases, Mike needs 10 total targeted radiation treatments to treat his spine. This will accomplish two things: 1. Drastically reduce his back pain levels, and 2. Prevent further spread into the spinal column. If the cancer were to invade the spinal column, that would quite possibly paralyze him from the waist down. Of course, that’s something that must be prevented. His pain is currently well-managed and he’s feeling overall good, all things considered.
These radiation treatments must happen before any further chemotherapy. So, in order to make that happen as quickly—and painlessly—as possible, Mike will be staying in the hospital throughout the radiation. We have several close friends in the Raleigh-Durham area, but each one lives about an hour away from the University Hospital. If we were to attempt these visits on an outpatient basis, that would mean two hours in the car every day for Mike, and that much travel would just aggravate his back and cause the pain levels to go too high. We are so thankful they’ve given us the option of just sitting tight in-patient while he receives the treatment.
In addition, this morning, he spoke with a colleague of Dr. Ramalingam (Mike’s Duke oncologist) who specializes in urology oncology. They are going to try to streamline the radiation treatments, or even reduce the number necessary, if possible, so that his upcoming preparatory chemotherapy isn’t delayed. These doctors are on top of things!
What I Need{ed}
I’ve been frequently telling you guys how exhausted I am. Well, today I listened to my body and took a much-needed day of rest from the hospital at Mike’s insistence. I didn’t even wake up until nine a.m.! I never sleep past six in the morning, no matter har hard I try or how badly I want to! I got up, had coffee, took a shower, and skipped the makeup for the day. We are staying with some dear friends who have a beautiful property with incredible views and a nice, peaceful porch. I sat outside in the fall weather in peace. It was lovely!
I’ve spent time today having encouraging conversations with friends on the phone, in person, and through other technology avenues. I’ve read my Bible without despair for the first time in awhile, and I’ve prayed and been reminded, once more, to rest in the Lord. He’s doing something in all this. Just because I don’t know why or what, I still know Who. Once again, that actually feels like enough. At least for today.
What We Need Going Forward
I know what you’re thinking . . . what about Linda? I’m glad you asked! Mom is recovering well from her last chemo cycle and she’s resting well, too. We have a whole village who are stepping up to fill in the gaps for her care at home while I’m away. But our village needs to be organized. If you’re wondering how you can help, please just show up and she’ll let you in to help her. I promise. You can call first to make sure she’s home, but please don’t expect her to tell you what she needs. That’s probably the hardest thing of all for someone going through any sort of crisis.
People in crisis-mode don’t need the responsibility of making one.more.decision. When you’re suffering, you can’t voice what you need. You’re overwhelmed and exhausted and, in the case of a chemo patient, often have such brain fog that you can’t think straight enough to remember to tie your shoes, much less a grocery list. My best piece of advice for you is that if you feel led to do something, JUST DO IT. Don’t ask for permission and don’t wait for an invitation, because neither of those things are likely to happen. Just do the thing. If you were led to do it, chances are, it’s something that needs doing. And, on the off chance it wasn’t, the love and support alone are encouraging and won’t be forgotten or rejected.
As far as what we and the boys need, following is a list of suggestions. Yes, they’re bold. I’m beyond the point of feeling shame for saying these things boldly. Needs are needs:
Financial support. Traveling back and forth to West Virginia, as well as the two hours daily to and from the hospital cost money. Lots of gas money, food money, and occasional hotel stays (although those are drastically reduced thanks to the generosity of local-ish friends). A GoFundMe was set up earlier this year for us. Here’s the link for that. In addition, we have PayPal, Zelle, and Venmo. PayPal is connected to my email address: winelady.nc@gmail.com And Venmo and Zelle are connected to my phone number. (Because the internet can be a creepy place, I’m not sharing my phone number on here. But feel free to email me or contact me on Facebook Messenger and I’ll give it to you.)
Food support. We’re feeding the boys, ourselves, mom, and often my brother and sister-in-law, who are picking up the bulk of the care of mom while we’re gone. We have a MealTrain set up. Locals, please look over the dates and select one. Walmart gift cards are also much appreciated! We have a Walmart+ membership and get most of our groceries delivered to avoid exposure for immunocompromised patients.
Specific Product Needs: A while back, in this post, I included some things we use regularly. The list hasn’t changed much, but we especially go through a lot of the protein shakes and coffee on that list. (A medicinal beverage for both me and Mike, lol!)
That’s all, folks! I’ll keep updating if you’ll keep reading!
